Menopause is still represented by the physical symptoms such hot flashes and hormonal shifts, but for many women, one of the most frustrating and confusing symptoms is a surge in anger. If you find yourself feeling more irritable, reactive, or even rageful during menopause, you’re not alone—and more importantly, there’s nothing wrong with you.
Anger during menopause is not just a result of hormones. It is influenced by a complex interplay of biological changes, social expectations, and psychological factors. Understanding these forces can help you make sense of your emotions and find ways to manage them more effectively.
The Biological Roots of Menopausal Anger
From our early 40's hormone levels such as Estrogen and Progesterone start to change, this not only has an effect on our menstrual cycle but also physical and psychological changes.
There are various reasons for heightened anger and irritability during peri-menopause, when we first start to enter peri-menopause our Progesteron starts to decline, while Estrogen can increase in an attempt to keep ovulation occurring. This can lead to periods of increased Estrogen dominance - Progesteron would usually increase to balance out the hormones, however as it iof extreme s declining Estrogen can go unopposed. This leads to increased insomnia, irritability and even a feeling rage.
During Peri-menopause Estrogen levels can also dip very low and increase again, this fluctuation can effect our ability to emotionally regulate.
In later stages of peri-menopause and and after your final period, Estrogen levels remain low, Estrogen is known as helping to support other chemicals such as serotonin which is a mood regulating hormone and can help us to feel calmer and happier.
Additionally, its well documented that sleep disturbances in menopause caused by night sweats and insomnia can lower your threshold for frustration. Chronic sleep deprivation weakens emotional regulation, making it easier to snap at loved ones or feel overwhelmed by daily stressors. There is a bi-directional link with poor sleep and increased anger, meaning with the underlying effects of menopause on both sleep and mood they can exasperate each other creating a vicious cycle.
The Social Conditioning of Women’s Anger
Beyond biology, women are often socialised to suppress their anger. From a young age, many women are taught to be agreeable, accommodating, and nurturing, even at the expense of their own well-being. Anger is frequently labelled as a masculine expression or "unacceptable," leading many women to internalize their frustration rather than express it.
Menopause is a time of huge biological and psychological changes which make it so much harder to just get on with it and stay quiet. Psychologically its harder to emotionally regulate, but on top of that we have brain fog, memory issues and low cognitive energy - this makes it so much harder to keep on top of all the things that are expected from women. If you are working and have children its harder than ever to keep it all going, which then leads to a feeling of extreme resentment. Years of taking on extra responsibility, unspoken resentment, stress, and exhaustion can come to the surface, sometimes explosively. This is not a sign of failure—it’s a sign that your body and mind are demanding to be heard.
The Psychological Toll of Midlife Changes
Menopause often coincides with major life shifts: children leaving home, aging parents needing care, career transitions, or reassessing long-term relationships. These pressures can create a perfect storm of emotions, intensifying feelings of anger and frustration.
Many women also experience a loss of identity during this phase, the psychological impact making socialising more challenging and not enjoying things the way you used to. As mentioned the challenges of memory, brain fog and attention issues can make work much harder. If much of your life has been spent caring for others or putting others needs above your own, menopause can bring a sense of displacement or even grief. The anger you feel may be a reaction to these changes, signalling a need to reclaim your space, voice, and priorities.
Managing Menopausal Anger: Finding Relief and Balance
Recognizing the multifaceted causes of menopausal anger is the first step in managing it. Here are some ways to navigate these emotions:
Acknowledge Your Anger Without Judgment – Instead of suppressing or feeling ashamed of your anger, try viewing it as information. What is it trying to tell you? What needs or boundaries are being overlooked?
Prioritize Self-Care and Rest – Sleep, nutrition, and movement all impact emotional regulation. Even small changes, like reducing caffeine or practicing gentle exercise, can help balance your mood.
Express and Process Your Emotions – Talking to a trusted friend, therapist, or support group can provide a safe space to release built-up frustration. Journaling or creative outlets like art or music can also be powerful tools for emotional processing.
Challenging the status-quo - learning how you can take back some control of your life, delegating, changing career, looking at where time is spent, doing more things that create joy.
Explore Hypnotherapy for Emotional Regulation – Hypnotherapy can be a powerful way to access the subconscious mind and reframe how you respond to anger. Through guided relaxation and suggestion techniques, hypnotherapy can help reduce emotional reactivity, increase self-awareness, and create a sense of inner calm. Many women find that hypnotherapy allows them to process long-held emotions and shift their response to triggers, making anger easier to manage. It can also support long term goals and look at ways to introduce more self care and create space to do more of what you love.
Embracing This Chapter with Compassion
Menopause is not just an ending—it is also a beginning. The anger you feel is not a flaw; it is a signal that your body and mind are asking for attention and change. By understanding the socio-biological-psychological roots of menopausal anger and exploring ways to manage it—including hypnotherapy—you can navigate this transition with greater ease, self-compassion, and empowerment.
You are not alone in this journey, and there are effective ways to find relief. By embracing your emotions rather than fearing them, you can step into this new phase of life with strength and clarity.
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